How I Deal With My 3-Year-Old's Big Emotions Without Losing My Mind

I'll be honest: it took time to see the results I wanted in Liam's behaviour.

There were moments when I felt like I wasn't achieving much at all.

But when you're dealing with a toddler, doing more isn't always the answer.

Sometimes less really is more.

I gave up on the long explanations about why we do this or why we shouldn't do that.

At three years old, Liam isn't sitting there analysing my reasoning.

He's having a hard time, not trying to give me a hard time.

And I say this with confidence: I do not use time-outs or punishments.

If Liam lashes out because he's hungry, of course I intervene. But I'm not stepping in to punish him. I'm stepping in to help him deal with what he's feeling.

Then, afterwards, I work on strategies that might help next time.

Maybe that means carrying snacks, giving more reminders, or helping him recognise when he's starting to feel hungry.

It's all about making small changes little by little and repeating them over time.

If someone else is involved, we absolutely go back and apologise once the big emotion has passed. Not because I want to force an apology, but because I want him to understand that his actions can affect other people.

He may not fully understand it in the moment, but through repetition he becomes familiar with the process.

Something else that has made a huge difference for Liam is his speech development.

Liam has a speech delay, and only recently has he started speaking clearly enough for other people to understand him. The change in how he interacts with other children has been massive.

He has the words now.

He can say:

• "No, that's my toy."

• "Can I have this?"

• "Can we play?"

  
  

Having those words has been fundamental in reducing some of his biggest emotional reactions. When children can communicate their needs, they often don't need to express them through frustration.

And to every parent reading this: breathe.

There is no need to scream at your child.

And please, I beg you, ignore the looks from other people.

Your child is acting according to their age and developmental stage.

In that moment, they need your understanding and support, not your frustration added on top of theirs.

If someone else is involved, apologise, hug your child, and move away from the situation. Sometimes simply creating a bit of space is enough to help them begin calming down.

In my experience, tantrums pass much faster when we accept children's emotions rather than trying to suppress them.

Before I finish, I want to add an important disclaimer: I'm speaking as a neurodivergent parent raising a neurodivergent child.

I don't have quick fixes.

I don't believe in magic parenting hacks.

What I do believe in is connection, patience, repetition, and realistic expectations.

It takes time.

But time is exactly how children learn.

Quick Things That Help Me Handle Toddler Big Emotions

• Stay calm, even when they aren't.

• Get down to their level.

• Focus on the need behind the behaviour.

• Keep explanations short and simple.

• Help first, teach later.

• Apologise and repair once everyone is calm.

• Look for patterns (hunger, tiredness, overwhelm, transitions).

• Give them words they can use next time.

• Ignore judgment from strangers.

• Remember that progress is measured in months, not moments.

Thank you for reading💛

As always, remember that you are doing an amazing job.

Every parent has to find what works best for their child and their family.

Conscious parenting may not look the same for each one of us, and that's okay.

What matters is that we're willing to learn, understand our children's needs, and use our own emotional maturity to guide them through the hard moments.

There is no perfect parent, but if you're making an effort to understand your child rather than simply control their behaviour, you're already winning.

Be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard, and you're learning too.

If you'd like more honest parenting reflections, practical tips, and real-life motherhood moments, you can find me on:

Instagram: @silvia.london89

TikTok: @motherhoodnprogress

And don't forget to explore the other resources available here on The Practical Parent.

Until next time,

Silvia x