Embracing Our Children’s Energy: A Journey Through Parenting

Before I share this story about my two-year-old, I want to mention that I’ve walked this path with my daughter too. She’s now eight, and while she’s more mature, the challenges haven’t disappeared. They’ve just become harder for others to notice. Society doesn’t call her out anymore because she’s learned how to “adjust,” making her more convenient to the world. But the truth is, the struggle is still there—just less visible.

And that’s why this matters so much to me now, as I watch my son face the same spotlight. When I go out with my little one, he always stands out. Not because he’s misbehaving, but because people keep pointing out the same thing:

“Wow, he has so much energy!”

or

“He never stops! Look at him changing activities so quickly!”

They say it and stare, almost as if he’s some fun case study. But in reality, he’s just being a two-year-old. To me, it’s normal. Children are supposed to run, jump, explore, and overflow with joy. That’s life. That’s childhood.

The Double Standard of Childhood Behaviour

Here’s the thing I’ve noticed: people only seem to like it when the behaviour looks “positive.” When he’s laughing, running, or being charming, it’s “adorable.” But when the same intensity shows up as frustration, overwhelm, or big tears, suddenly it’s “too much.” Suddenly, I’m the poor parent who doesn’t discipline her child.

It stings because deep down, I know ADHD and autism run in the family. I can see parts of that in his behaviour. To me, it’s not unusual. It’s him. To others, he’s a problem waiting to happen. And that’s the part that hurts.

Understanding Behaviour as Communication

The truth is, many adults are deeply uncomfortable with children being… well, children. Big emotions, boundless energy, unpredictable reactions—they trigger something in them. Often, it’s their own childhood. They remember being told to “sit still,” “be quiet,” and “stop crying.” They were shamed out of their natural expression.

So when they see a child who isn’t following those same rigid rules, it feels disrespectful or out of control. But that says more about their unresolved feelings than it does about our children.

Our children aren’t trying to embarrass us in public. They’re not manipulative or spoiled. They’re communicating in the only way their brain knows how at this stage. When we start apologising for developmentally normal behaviour just to make adults around us more comfortable, we unintentionally send our kids the message that their emotions and energy are wrong. And that’s not the lesson I want my child to carry into adulthood.

What Helps Me in These Moments

I’m still learning. Some days, it’s really hard to deal with the stares, the whispers, or the judgemental looks. I have to constantly remind myself that I’m parenting my child the way I know is best for him and for our family. Sometimes, I even joke to myself that I’m wearing an invisible helmet. It shields me from the judgement coming my way, like their opinions just bounce off. Honestly, it kind of works.

Here’s what else helps me:

• Stop over-apologising. Instead of saying “sorry” for my toddler being loud or upset, I remind myself that he’s learning. If needed, I'll simply remove him from the situation when possible, which helps him to calm down a little.

• Regulate myself first. Those dirty looks can trigger my own childhood wounds. I focus on my child and take a deep breath. It helps to ground myself before responding to his needs.

• Hold the boundary with calm confidence. My child doesn’t need me shrinking to fit strangers’ expectations. He needs to see me standing tall, modelling that his feelings are safe.

• Reframe the narrative. When I hear “He’s too much,” I flip it in my mind to “He’s full of life.” That shift helps me stay proud instead of ashamed.

  
  

Finding Peace in Parenting

You don’t need to defend or hide your child’s joy, their energy, or their big feelings. What you can do is protect your peace, model resilience, and remember that parenting is about connection, not perfection. Parenting in public isn’t about pleasing strangers. It’s about protecting our children’s right to be children.

My toddler doesn’t need to perform to make adults comfortable. He needs to know he’s safe to feel, explore, and learn, both in his joy and in his struggles. And honestly, I wouldn’t want him any other way.

A Mantra for Parents

Here is a mantra for you:

“My child is not too much. He is exactly who he’s meant to be, and I’m the parent he needs.”

Thank you for reading and for being here with me on this journey. If you’ve ever felt judged for your child simply being themselves, know you’re not alone. Together, we can shift the way the world sees children.

Come say hi on Instagram @silvia.london89 or drop me an email at thepracticalparent1@gmail.com.